Don't rush into anything.

Why the same rules apply to new love and new jobs after a breakup

A guide for anyone facing career reorientation after a redundancy or termination agreement.

After the initial shock, many people immediately begin searching for a new job – and the relief at quickly finding employment is immense. But relationship research reveals why this isn't always the best path to long-term professional success and satisfaction.

Sometimes you throw yourself into relationships and jobs with the same intensity – only to discover that not everything that glitters is permanent.

A representative online survey by XING (Job Happiness Study, 2023) revealed that 50% of all Germans have quit their job within the first year. The reasons are varied: A perceived salary that is too low, dissatisfaction with management, and an unsuitable or poor team culture are the main reasons employees quit within the first year.

However, dissatisfaction with job duties, excessive stress levels, and too much overtime are also triggers for early termination of employment. The risk of another quick resignation is particularly high for the first job after a dismissal or termination. This is because many people, out of uncertainty after the unexpected job loss, accept a job that is not a good fit for them.

Your next job shouldn't be a "transitional partnership".

To avoid this, you can learn from relationship research. After a divorce or the end of a long-term relationship, many people tend to quickly look for a new partner. These so-called transitional relationships (referred to in research as "rebound relationships") have a bad reputation. Rightly so: According to studies, 65% of these relationships break down within six months; the probability of them lasting longer than two years is 19%.

However, researchers in the US have also found that people in transitional relationships fared significantly better than those who initially tried to cope as singles after a painful breakup. They were happier, found themselves more attractive, and had higher self-esteem – and this positive effect was lasting. While they maintained more contact with their former partner than the singles, they also distanced themselves more and grieved for them less often.

Take time to reorient yourself after losing a job

What can we learn from this for our own career reorientation? First of all, it's important to realize that you shouldn't hastily accept the wrong job after a dismissal or termination of employment. Two steps are crucial here.

1. Find out which job is really right for you

   
   

   If your financial situation allows it – for example, thanks to a leave of absence or severance payment – then consciously take time to reflect on what the right next step is. This includes figuring out what motivates you (your motives and values), what you are capable of (your strengths), and what is currently important to you (your life situation).

   
   

   We've all learned in our professional lives to do things that don't suit us – but this compensation takes a lot of energy. And ultimately, it leads to precisely that dissatisfaction with the tasks, the excessive stress level, and the many overtime hours.

   
   

   So why not look for a job from the outset that builds on your strengths, aligns with your values, and challenges you in a healthy way? Use trusted individuals as sparring partners during this reflection process – ideally, also professional consultants or coaches. These are often paid for by the employer as part of a severance agreement (and tax-free).

2. Get to know your new employer well before you commit.

   
   

   A common saying goes: employees join a company for the job and leave because of their boss. There's some truth to that – according to a XING study, the most frequent reason for resignations within the first year is dissatisfaction with the manager (43% of respondents). It's therefore worthwhile to engage in in-depth discussions with your prospective manager during the application process: about expectations, work and management style, and the specifics of working together.

   
   

   Ultimately, gut feeling is also crucial – the "chemistry" has to be right. This applies equally to future colleagues and, if applicable, your own employees: You shouldn't accept a job without getting to know them first. Besides assessing your personal fit, this also gives you a feel for the company culture.

During the transition period, find activities that give you validation.

And there's another lesson to be learned from research: it's proven that people with a positive, optimistic attitude are more successful at work. This is especially true during career transitions. Those who approach applications and interviews with a positive and confident attitude are significantly more likely to land their desired new role than someone who searches with self-doubt and frustration.

If rebound relationships demonstrably benefit us and generate positive emotions and self-confidence, why shouldn't the same apply to jobs? It doesn't have to be the next permanent position right away. Consider working as a freelancer or in an interim role during your period of reorientation – or taking on a social commitment.

The effectiveness and positive feedback you experience there will certainly give your applications a boost. They might even show you that completely different career paths could be interesting for you in the long run.

Where Restart Career supports

This is precisely where Restart Career's work begins: with structured reflection on motives, values, and strengths; coaching as a sparring partner for career assessment; and outplacement support to guide individuals toward the right next role. This prevents a hasty move to the next best job and instead leads to a decision that is sustainable in the long term. Employers often cover the costs of this support as part of the severance agreement – tax-free.